What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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oooooooooooooo yeah write there thats the spot what i was talking about my car

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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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