how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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