Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

how do you call someone? use a phone

how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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