Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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