What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII KATE WAS HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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