Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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