What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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knock knock Goodbye

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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