Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

thumb_up thumb_down +13

About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

thumb_up thumb_down +11

WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops