Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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Who's dumb and retarted. A person that is dumb and retarted.

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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there is a fat ass bitch who lives in littlefield TX, her name...Krista. her facebook.... NannyGrizzly. I hate her!!! with a pasion... she was my neighbor... i can hear her yelling all the time. Please... someone give her a reason to yell. .................Facebook..........Nannygrizzly.......do....something.....about.......her.... thank you. Ima TROLE!!!!! hahahahaahhhahahahahahahaahha. damn it. (: v P PS. she is a bitch

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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Whats more fun that a hooker - her mother

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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