You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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Tony Romo

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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what's worse than pie? alot of things.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops