Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops