Knock knock... Home invasion

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a irish man walks past a bar

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops