Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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