I'm going to Re-write History... History

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kathryn atkins

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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Yes

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

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John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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