Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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