What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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