There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops