Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

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Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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