whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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