a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

thumb_up thumb_down +11

HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

thumb_up thumb_down +11

two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's long and black The unemployment line

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops