Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops