What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Why did? Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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