A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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96

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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What is a holocaust survivors favorite food nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops