Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Knock knock. Its open.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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kkkk

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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