"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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