why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

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what happens on labor day? the day she has a baby... ya your having a kid

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Once upon a time a was born

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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