What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You know what's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops