Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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Pickles

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops