Dwarf Shortage

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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what did the black guy say to the white comedian? haha

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Yo mommas so fat that when people look at her they say things like "shes bigger than me"

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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