What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

thumb_up thumb_down -13

In my country we don't swim, we drown.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -13

which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops