Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

thumb_up thumb_down -14

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops