Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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One time i was sitting down

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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