Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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