An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

What's worse than sitting through a boring class? Sitting on a bus that a terrorist is about to blow up.

What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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