What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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