How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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