Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

What's stupid a light bulb.

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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