How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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