dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

thumb_up thumb_down +5

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's white and looks like paper? Paper

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You know whats funny? Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops