What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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