Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops