my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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tea with milk?

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What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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How old are you? 7

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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