A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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What do u call a cripple Biv

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops