What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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knock knock Goodbye

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Burp

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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