Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

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Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage?

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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A man died.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops