There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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I had a submarine.... once

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

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kk

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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