haha

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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