Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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