What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

Barack Obama is a good president.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

Knock knock, COME IN!

Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

What do you call a black man in church? Religious

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

If life gives you lemonade.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...