Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops