Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

what do German people eat at BBQ ' s ? burgers and hotdogs and kebabs and fried chicken with a garnish of summer salad washed down with a cold mouth tingling glass of coca cola and jews

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

A hill billy went fishing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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