There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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Q: What's one thing that 5 out of 6 people always agree on? A: Gang Rape

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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I have a really funny joke.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

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Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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