- Anti Joke

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist