how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did the young boy die from Aggressive cancer? ...Because there isn't a cure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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