A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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being sober in a bar fight

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Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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