Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

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Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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A man walks into a sofa. BANG

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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A man walked into a bar, and clutched his stomach in pain as it was a steel bar and it hurts when you walk right into a steel bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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