Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

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What happens when Terran Hansen has sex with a cow? Jesse Z.

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wut du u cull a niggre whos wyte nut a niggre

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops